I am not a disciplined person. My time-management skills are abysmal. If I have a project to do or a party to throw or an article to write, I procrastinate terribly. My husband calls it procrastireading, because I escape in a book instead of doing what I should. Then as the deadline approaches I get frantically focused, packing weeks of work or preparation into the final hours. It's not good. It's a lack of discipline and it seeps into many areas of my life.
The last month has been particularly bad. I've had writing projects, school projects, and I threw Will a graduation party. The trifecta of wrapping up the school year, finishing up the soccer season, and launching the swim season has left me with little time to blog. I've spent nearly every spare minute in the pool with Sam because I am so anxious for him to swim. And he's loving it. He is a self-taught little fish, pushing the limits of what is reasonable for a three-year-old. If I grab him out of grave concern that he needs to take a breath, he gets indignant:"Stop touching me!"
But as I've written here before I miss blogging terribly when I fall away. It is such a great way for me to process what's going on in my life. It helps me remember to be thankful, to be intentional about life, to listen intently to what God is calling me to be and to do. So I'm renewing my commitment to Spur, because frankly I need it. More than once a month!
Because my life is so divinely orchestrated, the next chapter in Hebrews is about discipline. Hebrews 12:11 says, "No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." I can hear little Nate saying this verse. He has always had an amazing propensity for memorization and knew this one, along with many others when he was three. During that pre-school, pre-sports era, Will and I were disciplined about helping the boys memorize verses, and we were disciplined about discipline too. Life is much more hurried now. We are often racing from one thing to the next, and our harvest of righteousness and peace is less bountiful.
There is a balance we've yet to strike. Sometimes we go, do, see, and experience at the expense of reflecting and being. I need more discipline in my life, and my boys need it too.
How are you doing? Are you a disciplined person? Do you see evidence of the righteousness and peace that stem from it? In what areas could you be more disciplined?
The very word "discipline" is humbling for me, yet God gives grace to the humble. I am so very thankful that this is true and that I do not have to earn His love. I can rest assuredly in the fact that Jesus is not only the author of my faith, but the perfecter of my faith (Hebrews 12: 2).
May we heed the call this week and fix our eyes on Jesus!